From Michelle La Croix:
FewÊstitchers need an excuse to buy more stash. We are hooked on cotton. We obsess over silk. We daydream about DMC, SSS, and GAST. But just in case you need to explain to others why you have a million kits, thread, and embellishments at home, and yet still need a few more chartsÉ and just have to buy the newest thread colors ... here's a handy list of reasons you need more stash!
"Stitcher's Thank You"
by Mary-Dick Digges
God grant that I may see to stitch
Until my dying day
And, when the last thread is clipped
And scissors tucked away.
The work that I have done lives on
So other folk may see
The pleasure I have known, Lord,
In the skill you gave to me.
Cross Stitchers are a different breed!!!
Cross stitchers are a different breed.
The things we hope for, the things we need.
We sometimes wish our guest would go.
We wait all day for that time to be~
That special time~that time for ME.
Each needle is threaded, the colors arrayed.
Scissors and chart have been carefully laid.
Now we relax, this is our pleasure~
Stitching this piece of soon-to-be treasure.
We always ignore that mental warning~
Stitching all night makes it rough in the morning.
But time's unimportant, we dont need clocks~
We just need floss and a sewing box.
Our project awaits us, now we proceeed.
This must be heaven~what more could we need!
Above poem forwarded from crossstitchpals.com
Warning! Stitchen PoxÊ
VERY CONTAGIOUSÊ
symptoms: Patient has glazed expression. Has fear of kitchen andÊ laundry area. Frequently checks floss supply. Hoards small fabricÊ scraps. Counts to self. Always saying just one more stitch. Doesn'tÊ know what the conservation is about. Will spend on supplies knowingÊ that their last outfit is torn to shreds and sewn together with 3371Ê DMC floss.Ê
NO KNOWN CUREÊ
Treatment: Disease is not fatal. Victim should visit as manyÊ needlework shops as possible. And spend every last dime they mayÊ have.Ê
If this is you; consult your nearest needle pal and she will help youÊ get into more trouble! -- sent by Elizabeth
Author unknown:
You know you are a cross stitch addict when.....
You live in a one bedroom flat and you buy a three bedroom house, even though you are single, because you have run out of wall space for your embroideries. You use the reasoning that new house will give you bedroom, a sewing room and a computer room to design your cross stitch in.
You spend £300 on an antique pine cabinet made for storing dead moths because the drawers are just the right size for skeins of embroidery threads.
You buy a DMC skein in a revolting shade of bright mauve, which you will never use, just because you cannot bear not to have the complete set of DMC threads.
You are lying in the intensive care unit after a car accident and you improve dramatically just so you can get moved to an ordinary ward, because they will not let your teddy bear and your current cross stitch project into intensive care because they are not sterile.
You sweet talk your Web Designer boyfriend into turning down work which pays the bills, just so you can have your own cross stitch website.
On your first ever visit to the USA, you go to New York on a business trip for 3 days, and you spend the one day your employers have allocated for sightseeing trying to find some needlework shops. I failed miserably and then had to do the tour of NY by helicopter to catch up on all the sightseeing I missed, and ended up filling the space I had left in my suit case for cross stitch essentials with Timberland boots and Donna Karen T Shirts! (I thought Macey's were supposed to sell everything- well they don't sell cross stitch kits or books)
You have to employ a wonderful lady called Jackie to do your ironing just because 4 hrs ironing is equal to 6000 stitches, and one month's ironing is one finished design. (Actually I hate ironing - any excuse will do!)
You are recovering from a severe sinus infection and try to fill the time stitching. You discover to your dismay that the medication has been so effective you have no saliva left to wet your floss to thread your needle. Your Darling Husband, hearing your cry of frustration, comes out and licks the floss for you! If I am an addict, then he must be an enabler!
You attend a family wedding 300 miles away from home with relatives you haven't seen in years visiting from out of the country, and you spend all your hours during the wedding weekend plotting the opening hours and distance of all the needlework shops in the vicinity, and you then justify your outings by taking your mom with you for some quality shopping time together. Your mother recognises the symptoms of addiction and finally says on the way to the third shop in a 45 mile radius of the wedding "Honey you know I like stitching, but I will never be as addicted as you!"
Barbara S. found this t-shirt for her husband at the Cross Stitch Festival in 1994.
You eat frozen dinners more than twice a week.
You wear bits of floss to work.
You make regular payments to your local cross-stitch store.
You know the terms: French knot; floss; trolly strip;
scroll - as related to stitching.
You've found a lost needle in your sofa.
Your shirts are squeezed into the closet to make room for one
more box of projects.
All of your vacations require a detour to the "best" cross-stitch
shop in the country.
Your new car has been described as DMC color # 932.
The last words you hear at night are "Just one more stitch!"
All of the above.
ÔTwas the night before Christmas, and, oh, I was weary.
My stitching unfinished, my eyes getting bleary.
The stockings werenÕt finished, the chimney was bare.
And I knew that morning soon would be there.
My children and husband were tucked in their beds,
But visions of backstiches ran through my head.
IÕd stitched ornaments and presents and gifts by the ton,
And now, I was finally, almost, almost done.
As I poised my needle for one more backstitch,
I heard something outside that made my hand twitch.
I jumped up from my stitching, and flew to the door,
Pressed my eye to the peephole, tip-toe off the floor.
My stitching forgotten, I peered into the night.
When suddenly, I got a terrible fright.
On my porch appeared Santa, holding his sack.
He knocked softly, and I took a giant step back.
I unlocked the deadbolt, and let Santa in,
He entered and gave a mischievous grin.
"Hope you donÕt mind if I come in the door?"
"Coming down the chimney can be quite a chore."
He said "YouÕre up late. Still working I see."
"Do you know how tired youÕre going to be?"
"I know, Santa," I said, with a sigh,
"But IÕm still backstitching the stars in the sky,"
"And the fields on that stocking look blobby you know,
I need to backstitch the drifts in the snow.
IÕve been stitching and stitching and stitching, no rest.
I just tried to finish stitching too much, I guess."
"I know what you mean," he said with a smile.
"This is my busiest time of the year, by a mile."
He stooped down by the tree, and he opened his sack,
And began to pull presents out of his pack.
"IÕve got some things here I think you might like,
An oak stitching frame, and a brand new Ott-Light.
A bundle of floss, and a great big mat cutter,"
I smiled and felt my heart go a-flutter.
He put down gifts for us all, then he waved his right hand.
"Go to bed," he said, glancing at my floor stand.
He gave me a wink, and stepped out the door.
I just stood there a moment, glued to the floor.
After heÕd left, I turned back to my chair,
Picked up the stockings, and started to stare.
The backstitching was done! The stars lit the sky!
And on my sonÕs stocking angels sung on high.
I ran to thank Santa for this final gift,
And watched as his sleigh started to lift.
I heard him exclaim as he pulled out of sight,
"Merry stitching to all, and to all a good night!"
(The above poem came to me from Sheri Finta who found it at http://crossstitch.about.com/mbody.htm)
I don't have a source for this wisdom... enjoy!
1. Come sale time at the needlework shop, they'll be out of DMC 310.
2. Chocolate is to Aida as metal filings are to magnets.
3. The thread will fray.
4. The last lost needle will only be found by a bare foot traveling at a
high rate of speed.
5. When there are four stitches of a color left to do, there will be
enough thread left in the needle to sew
no more than three.
6. The threader needle won't.
7. "Mother's scissors" are the only ones your husband and children will
want to use.
8. Dog/cat hairs will penetrate any and all enclosures used to protect
cross stitch projects in progress.
9. After counting the same line 11 times, but before the first critical
stitch is taken, the phone will ring.
10. You will count wrong.
11. You will re-count wrong.
12. Regardless of how recently you have fed your household prior to
stitching, the minute you pick up
your needle... every child will be hungry, every bird will give out a
faint ravenous tweet, every dog will go
pale, every plant will droop, and the doorbell will ring.
Once there was an avid cross stitcher named Jane. Despite the fact that she was a good stitcher, she was otherwise a very bad person, so when she died she went to Hell. The Devil himself met her at the gates of Hell and said, "Jane, let me show you where you will be spending all of Eternity.o/oo So Jane followed the Devil down long dark hallways and she heard the screams and moans of countless miserable souls. She was filled with dread. Finally, Satan stopped at one heavy door, unlocked it, and ushered Jane in, saying, "Here is your own little piece of Hell.o/oo Jane walked in and could hardly believe her eyes: the huge room was filled with cross stitching supplies and materials!! Everywhere she looked, she saw bolts and bolts of the finest linens and Aida cloth, in every count and color. Beautiful cherry wood floss cabinets were overflowing with skeins of floss in all the colors of the rainbow. There was a big comfortable chair to sit in, surrounded by various task lights, floor stands, and embroidery hoops. Jane also saw shelves full of beads and buttons, metallic and specialty fibers, and countless leaflets and pattern books. In amazement, Jane turned to the Devil and asked, "Are you sure this is Hell??? This place looks wonderful!! To which the Devil replied, "Well, you don,t see any needles, do you?
by Margaret Whittleton The Center for Disease Control in Atlanta today announced the identification of a new disease. Tentatively named Acquired Needlework Syndrome, the disease is highly infectious. Scientists at CDC say the disease is caused by a bacillus called staphloaiguille because of its needle-like shape. Under the microscope the bacillus is long and slender with a long narrow opening at one end, from which trail thread-like cilia.
Symptoms of the disease include feverish babbling of letters such as DMC, TW, LOL, ROFL and talking about invisible friends such as Teresa, Paula, Robert, Karen, etc. At first sufferers appear to be taking an unusual interest in Verdi operas, while more advanced cases develop wanderlust, especially wishing to travel to Edinburgh, Dublin, and Belfast. Other symptoms include feverish buying and storing of woven goods and printed pamphlets, and a 'smoking' credit card. The disease is especially dangerous because it cannot only be passed along directly from one infected individual to another, but documented cases have been found where the sufferer caught the disease from reading a magazine, or attending a craft show.
The CDC says that while the disease is especially prevalent in North America, cases have been found in every country on the globe. Family members should be aware that while the disease may occasionally enter remission, it is at present incurable.
The patient should be given a quiet corner with a comfortable chair and good lighting. Interruptions should be minimized.
Here's a new poem -- the person who sent it to me didn't know who wrote it, but we thought it was worth sharing!
I started a cross stitch the other day
I've started at least a hundred and one,
and only a handful of those are done.
My problem is simple
and plain and easy to see;
I'm hooked on cross stitch,
It's not as bad as could be.
I don't drink or gamble,
I just sit and stitch.
This is my weakness,
my passion, my itch.
Each project I buy is exciting and new,
I can't wait to get started,
so that's what I do.
I stitch on the new piece,
forgetting the old.
That makes one more piece
that I'm putting on hold.
If I bought no more projects ever again,
I'd still never finish
if I live to one hundred and ten.
So I'll keep right on buying forever more.
(I'm a preferred customer
at my local stitch store.)
And when my time comes,
in stitchers heaven I'll be.
With enough unfinished projects
to last through eternity.
I'll sit and I'll stitch all the day through.
And I may finish a project,
perhaps even two!
Someone stopped by my site after doing a search for Mother Theresa on the Internet. He was inspired to write this limerick about me:
A talented gal named Venette
Was a stitcher as good as you get
Like Galileo of Pisa
She's a genius - Theresa
Want some needlework, she's your best bet. -- Rob Robinson
THE STITCHER'S SONG
(to the tune of "I've Been Working on the Railroad")
Hi, my name is _______ and I'm glad you're here today.
I'm a stitchaholic, and I live from day to day.
I can't control my habit -- supplies just pile up on the shelf!
All I do is pass a shop, and that car turns by itself!
(Chorus)
Oh, I'm a stitchaholic with too many UFO's...
I've tried to kick the habit time and again, God knows.
DH says he'll leave me if the pile gets too much worse,
But I'm gonna try to take em with me in that big black hearse.
I go in the shop for just one skein, and boy, I think I can!
I pass the new releases rack and ignore the new Just Nan.
I get into the thread boxes... and see the sampler wall...
I run out with an Emie Bishop, fabric, threads and all!
(Chorus)
I sneak my stuff into the house as quiet as can be,
I wait until DH is napping or watching the old TV.
And when it's time to bring it out and stitch with it, I say,
"Oh, this old thing? I've had it forever and a day!"
(Chorus)
I sit and stitch and watch TV -- well, listen more than watch.
DH tells me what I miss and doesn't complain too much.
And when it's time to go to bed, he turns out all the lights --
He doesn't believe "just one more stitch" before I say goodnight!
(Chorus)
I finished up a project -- it's framed and on the wall!
Now I can start another one -- or two more, if they're small!
I go through all my charts to pick and end up with a pile --
I've got so many UFO's, you'd think I'm an Xenophile!
(Chorus)
I'm a charter member of the HUGE Stash Society --
I've got a stash so big that I can't find my Christmas tree!
She who dies with the most stuff is dead, and that's a fact!
Now, where's the sale, when does it start? I'll be in line for that!
(Chorus)
I've got cats -- they really help! -- just ask them any day!
They help me wind floss and sort my beads, all kinds of ways!
They help me try new threads and critique the work I've done.
And when I've put the stitching up, they sit on it for fun. -- Nina
© 2007 Theresa Venette. Articles on this site may be reproduced in needlework group newsletters or other handouts with permission of author and proper attribution. Send questions, comments and suggestions to: xspeddler@yahoo.com