To be a good gift giver, you need to be a good listener. People tend to talk about the things that they enjoy. Listen for clues to what might be a good gift to give, and keep a little running note to yourself about these ideas. For example, your pal may mention that she just tried some silk from The Thread Gatherer and just loves it. Wouldn't it be fun to surprise her with a skein of it in her favorite color? She may talk about how she is always rusting her needles; buy her a package of platinum ones (which last much longer!)

A common question that I get regarding giving gifts is what to get someone who might already have everything? Let's say my favorite designer is Heart in Hand. How would my NSSS be able to buy me any of their charts, since I probably have many of them already? My NSSS could always just ask which charts I don't have. She could also buy me new charts right when they come out (and try to beat me to them!) Or, it might be neat to come up with a customized gift -- something my NSSS stitches for me, like a Christmas ornament designed by Heart in Hand with both of our names on the back. Another neat idea might be to send a chart to the designer with return postage and ask that designer to sign/personalize the chart (you might try e-mailing the designer first to see if this is OK. Most designers on my site now have websites of their own, and you can contact them through their sites.) Another idea would be to track down a discontinued/out of print chart that your NSSS doesn't have. You can sometimes locate these through auction websites or newsgroups/bulletin boards.

Several Secret Stitchers I know of purchased series of charts, like the Curtis Boehringer Murder Mystery Series and the Monthly Mania charts by Heart in Hand. There are numerous seasonal and monthly series by many designers, and gifting with a series makes it easy to come up with something every month.

You could also try an ornament a month for gift giving. You might pick something like Shepherd's Bush motifs or sampler motifs, and stitch one small ornament a month. If you're not adept at finishing, you could stitch them on perforated paper, or make tiny bellpulls using twigs from trees in your yard. It might also be neat to stitch a small motif on one large piece throughout the year, and present that larger piece during the holidays. That way, your NSSS knows you've been thinking of her year round. I just started a round robin where I sent 12 different pieces of fabric. I asked that everyone stitch a holiday, and I'm going to stretch each one on a piece of foam core, and pop them in and out of a little frame on my desk when the holidays come around. You could do this, too. Give your NSSS a little frame for her desk, then every once in a while, send her a new little piece to put in it (stretch it for her, so she'll be ready to go.)

One clever stitcher knew that her pal liked coffee. She found a chart with a coffee angel, picked out fibers with coffee names (like Latte' and Mocha), found some chocolate spoons for stirring and other coffee items at her local shops and made a basket of items all related to coffee. You could do this with almost any hobby/love. Think of a basket of chocolate-related items. A travelers care package. A reader's kit (complete with bookmark, coffee mug, reading journal, a new book, sweets...). How about a kit for someone who likes to cook -- a new spatula, kitchen magnets, pretty recipe cards, a kitchen timer.

Really, though, it's not the dollar amount you spend for any gift giving, is it? My mother reminded me this morning that it's the unexpected gift that is the most fun to get. Send often, and for strange reasons -- celebrate arbor day by sending some recycled paper stationery. Send some flower bulbs to celebrate the first day of spring. Flag Day could be celebrated with some red, white and blue fibers or beads. Send an "unbirthday" present. Commemorate Robert Frost's birthday with a poem. Make a donation to your local food bank or homeless shelter in your friend's name at Christmas. Most of all, enjoy giving for the feeling it gives your friend, and for the feeling it gives you.

"I count myself in nothing else so happy/As in a soul remembering my good friends." (Wm. Shakespeare, King Richard II)

© 2007 Theresa Venette. Articles on this site may be reproduced in needlework group newsletters or other handouts with permission of author and proper attribution. Send questions, comments and suggestions to: xspeddler@yahoo.com