One of the most significant problems that arises when giving needlework as a gift is giving it to someone who either doesn't appreciate it or who doesn't like it (they're two separate issues -- one type of person doesn't know the kind of time that goes into making the needlework, the other is a personality/style issue). I'm sure we've all heard horror stories about the hundreds of hours that went into making a project only to have the recipient say, "Oh, that's nice" and then store it in the closet for the rest of eternity. And there are always those stories of needlework ending up in rummage sales.

Who do you give your needlework to? I have the unfortunate "problem" of having an entire extended family who both appreciates and likes my needlework -- ha! True! So no matter who I give needlework to (well, OK, not my brother...) it's appreciated and hung up on the wall. Honestly, I'm rather selfish with my needlework -- those of you who've stopped by my house can testify to the number of needlework projects BY ME on my own walls. But I do give away a few pieces a year, usually at Christmas (when everyone is together and can Ooh and Aah in the same room). There are a few (Mom, especially) who get needlework for pretty much every big occasion (birthday, Christmas and Mother's Day).

A few times I've strayed from my standard group of needlework recipients. It's pretty rare, and I carefully consider whether or not that person/couple would like to receive needlework. I consider that person's taste (in furniture and art, especially) as an indication as to whether or not needlework would be welcomed. Has that person ever mentioned my needlework (like, "Oh, I really like that piece you did" or, "Your needlework is so neat! I wish I could do that.") If a couple/person seems uninterested (i.e., has never mentioned it, or makes small comments like, "oh," in reference to my needlework, it's pretty unlikely I'd make something for them as a gift.

My friend Jennifer stitched a large Noah's ark sampler for her nephew when he was born. Unfortunately, his mother was unappreciative of the effort and didn't even want to hang it. Jennifer gave explicit instructions that her nephew keep the piece, and if she ever was planning on getting rid of it (rummage sale!) that it was to go back to Jennifer. I think it's best if both parties are honest with each other (as much as it may hurt to hear your piece isn't appreciated, wouldn't you rather know so you don't keep stitching for someone who doesn't like needlework?)

One of the most memorable stories I heard about needlework gifts on the Internet was about a woman who stitched a large piece for a good friend or relative. She told the recipient that there was a prayer with each stitch. And they both bawled! You and I both know how much effort goes into needlework, and it's neat when a non-needleworker appreciates that, too.

I know a lot of you are careful when selecting pieces to stitch for friends or family -- you consider color and subject matter (does the person collect Santas, or is she decorating everything in pansies?) Consider the person's style, too. One stitcher I talked to this last week was looking for an anniversary sampler for a couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. She said they really weren't into "cutesey," so we selected a few reproduction sampler style anniversary pieces. She thought they would go nicely with the way they decorated (and since they liked antiques, they also fit their personalities). She has known the couple for a long time, so she was ready to put some good time into stitching a "magnificent" piece for them.

Maybe you want to do a gift for an acquaintance. Consider how much time would be appropriate to put in on the gift. Something smaller and functional might be better (like a breadcover, for example). If you're stitching something for a baby, consider that this child will be looking at this needlework for a very long time, so cute duckies and safety pins might get old after a while -- something more classic will hang on the wall much longer! When I stitch something for a wedding gift, I select something that fits the couple, and not the wedding theme (bells, doves, etc...). I figure a wedding is one day, but needlework is forever, right? So I pick a picture that "looks like" the couple, and stitch it with their names and the date somewhere.

Also, remember that most people aren't going to know what to do with an unframed/unfinished piece. So if you want to give needlework unframed as a gift, be sure to give the recipient instructions. I always think it's best to maybe do a smaller piece, but stick it in a frame for my "gift getter." It's more fun to be able to hang it up on the wall right away. This can add considerably to the cost, so keep that in mind. I recommend that needleworkers give gift certificates to a frame shop with needlework to "help" with the framing costs, if necessary (if you don't want to pay for the entire cost of framing yourself). But you can also consider non-framing options like a bellpull, breadcloth, towels, runner, doily, pillow, etc...

I'm continually amazed by stitchers who scan the web looking for cross stitch patterns of Harley Davidson motorcycles, rifles, Star Trek characters and such for their husbands, sons, uncles, brothers...because, why? I hope I don't make you feel embarassed if you've done this, but I think if you're stitching something like that, it's maybe unlikely he'll appreciate it for what it is (a gift of your love and affection). I still have on the burner a multiplication table sampler for my son, Harrison, who's a math whiz. That I would do. But he also likes Nintendo video games, and there's NO WAY I'm ever going to stitch him a Mario Brothers cross stitch piece. But that's just my opinion. Maybe instead of a picture of a Harley for your hubby, stitch a verse that's meaningful to both of you (a verse or two from "your song," or a scene from somewhere you visited.) Maybe Captain Kirk works for some, but make sure that gift will be appreciated. Maybe he really wants a new car stereo...hmmm...

Giving needlework away can be extremely gratifying. Or it can be a horrible experience, can't it? I think the main thing is to really remember that this piece can be the art the recipient hangs on a wall of her bedroom for decades, or it can be the piece she drags out and dusts off every time you're coming for a visit! Ha ha! Not everyone "deserves" our needlework. By that I mean, if someone doesn't "understand" needlework, or enjoy it, get her a gift certificate or a sweater. There are likely ten other people waiting in line for your wonderful pieces. Also, when you're stitching gifts, don't forget your friends who do needlework. You probably know what it's like to always be giving homemade gifts but not receiving them. I think when we have friends who do needlework, we might tend to get them supplies to do more needlework. An ornament or some other piece is always appreciated ten-fold by someone who has done her fair share of crossing, ripping, and backstitching.

© 2007 Theresa Venette. Articles on this site may be reproduced in needlework group newsletters or other handouts with permission of author and proper attribution. Send questions, comments and suggestions to: xspeddler@yahoo.com